Episode 29:  Malihini No More

 
Luau Louie

Luau louie came cruisin' along in an old hawaiian shirt and psychedelic crocs
Wearin' a hundred leis around his neck and a grass skirt with half the grass missing
Seashell baggies that he bought in wildwood last summer when he spent a whole week over there
Slicked-down hair and a sprayed-on tan that came out of a bottle from the aeroport

Luau louie was his name
Louie's claim to fame was the luau game
Or so he thought          *woo!*

Luau louie thinks he's god's gift to women;  doesn't realize they are mockin' him
He'll sidle up to a fair-haired beauty, give her a big misogynistic grin
Followed by a cliché wink and his pick-up line:  "how'd ya like a whole lotta louie love?!?"
When she throws her drink in his face, he licks his lips and says  "hmmm, not bad ... i'll have one of those"

Luau louie was his name
Louie's claim to fame was the luau game
But he was oh so lame          louie louie louie

Louie's never gonna catch on to his stoopitness
Louie's never gonna buy a clue
Louie's doesn't understand the meaning of finesse
Louie ain't as smart as me and you
Poor louie

Luau louie came came into Hula Nation yesterday, sauntered up to a hot redhead
Said "how'd ya like a whole lotta louie lovin' tonite?"          she smiled and nodded yes
As they strolled arm in arm out the door, all the patron chatter stopped as they craned to see
But later on, the jaws hit the floor when they heard the redhead wasn't "she" -  she was a he
Oh, louie ... ya finally got lucky!

Luau louie was his name
Louie's claim to fame was the luau game
Now he'll never be the same          (none of us will!)

Luau louie was his name
Louie's claim to fame was the luau game
Now he's got even more fame          luau louie!
 
 
 

Hawaiian Highways

Hawaiian highways

How do i get to the volcano highway ?          how do i get to route 151 ?
How do i pick up the mokulele highway ?          how do i pick up 368 ?
How do i locate the kahekili highway ?          how do i locate route 65 ?
How do i find the nawiliwili road ?          how do i find 581 ?

Highways and byways          hawaiian highways

How do i spot the maunaloa highway ?          how do i spot route 4-7-0 ?
How do i catch the queen kaahumanu highway ?          how do i catch route 139 ?
How do i meet up with haleakala highway ?          how do i meet up with 3-5-zero-zero ?
How do i drive to the likelike highway ?          how do i drive to 72 ?

Highways and byways          hawaiian highways

So many roadways and so many highways on this archipelago in the sea
Each one leading to the glorious discovery of the splendor that is hawaii
The splendor that is hawaii

1!  2!  3!  4!  5!  6!  ...  and a half!

How do i travel to the ahukini road ?          How do i travel to route 56 ?
How do i visit the manele road . . . also known as the 4-4-0 ?
How do i reach kamehameha avenue ?          how do i reach 137 ?
How do i head to kahului beach road ?          how do i head to route 394 ?

Highways and byways          byways and skyways          hawaiian highways

How do i hop on the kaukonahua road ?          how do i hop on the h3 ?
How do i take the kapule highway ?          how do i take 541 ?
How do i connect with the waikoloa road ?          how do i connect with route 2000 ?
How do i hit the kula highway ?          how do i hit 3-6-6 ?

Hawaiian highways          highways and byways
Byways and skyways          hawaiian highways

Hawaiian highways
 
 
 
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