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<== Tommy Wow !

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 Click ~here~ to visit Tommy's new VIDCAST Show :

 THE ACOUSTIC SONGS
OF ~
THOMAS ALLEN KELLEY
  !  

 And Now ... A Message From  Thomas Allen Kelley  He-self: 

  !  
  

Hello, peoples.

Fact:

~ I am a Genius ~

7 out of 10 highly-paid professionals agree.
Moreover, 5 of those same 7 professionals (highly-paid, mind you) emphatically state -

~ I am a freakin' Genius ~

Now, of course, 3 of those 5 professionals think I'm more freak than genius,
but that don't bother ~me~ none !  "More freak than genius" ... "more genius than freak" . . .
hey - it don't make no never-mind to me, because either way, I'm a freakin' Genius ... acronymed as FG.

FGs are 2 steps up from your regular Garden Variety Genius (GVG).  GVGs are a dime a dozen, whereas FGs
(there aren't many of us) are 3 for a quarter (well worth it, fer sher!).  As a bone-fide FG, I have been known to
write a complete song, start-to-finish, in 20 minutes ... I know those 'in the Know' know that's sayin' somethin'!

Here in print, these words make it seem as though I'm bragging, and ... well ... quite frankly, I ~am~!  The most
glorious part of being a FG is that I ~know~ I'm a FG ...... and believe-you-me, it feels damned good!!

And now, for a limited time only (yeah, right - as if there's a time limit for me taking your proffered money ... ),
you, too, can bask in the glory that is Me, simply by immersing yourself in the aural landscape of my
OMC (Outstanding Musical Creations).

For a mere $7 per cd, you can own and treasure all 10 currently available Thomas Allen Kelley endeavors
(I know this page shows 26 cds, but obviously I write songs faster than I get around to recording them,
because 16 of these cds are still in Limboland, and not yet ready for the Salivating Faithful,
whom I also like to call The Oh-So-Eager Fans Of Quality Musical Isotopes).  (huh?)

Wait!  Back the calliope up!  Did I say only $7 a cd??!  Lordeth, haveth mercyeth - the wares of a FG
were never so cheap!  Not cheap as in "chintzy", you understand, but cheap as in "bargain basement".
(hmmm, I think I just insulted myself ... oh well, if ~I~ didn't sling the 'sults, someone else would.)

So, c'mon, whacha waitin' for??  Any one of these cds will improve your life 20-fold, but 3 or 4 will
send you through Groovesville and on into Blisstown, baby!  After one listen, it's fur shur the words:

"Thomas Allen Kelley is a freakin' Genius"

will be emanating from ~your~ lips, too!  (just be careful you don't slip and say that ~other~ "F" word ....)

  
    

Each CD below is only $7, which includes shipping to any Continental US location.
(Note: other destinations will be based on actual shipping cost, so location will determine the final amount)

... and dig this:   each copy can be
AUTOGRAPHED at your request!
Great leaping lungfish, now there's some ~Good Fortune~ you don't get every day, eh!!

Email Salesrep Sally at  wowbrothers@hotmail.com  to arrange for the payment and delivery of your order.
Requests are burned-&-printed on an as-needed basis, so as soon as your order is received,
the Production Staff will leap into action (that is, after we ~pay~ them, of course ...),
and you should have your Terrific TOMMYabilia within 2-3 weeks.

    

 
Tommy Wow  (Thomas Allen Kelley)  SOLO  ENDEAVORS
 

home-ogenized, front

home-ogenized, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Smile
2. Time In The Clouds
3. Stop The Sea
4. I'll Tell You Something
5. Max
6. A Valentine's Heart [tak]
7. Disco Stooges [tak]
8. TAK On Life
9. You, Forever
10. Ob-La-Di
11. Anchor
12. To Remember Phebe
13. A Long Way Away

Home-Ogenized,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

Sheesh ..!!.. who's that on the back cover?  Good gosh, it's Tommy Wow, wearing his famous 'K' shirt ... was he ever that young??  Indeed he was, folks, indeed he was.  These songs were written from approximately 1975 through 1998, and were recorded in very various and very sundry places and conditions (bedrooms, attics, basements, and the like).  Kudos to Trackwork Recordings Unlimited for issuing this music on their 'FakeTone recordings' label (FTr), making available for the first time ever, this compendium of some of Tommy Wow's lesser-known work through the years.  Includes an 8-page booklet with ~lots~ (we're talkin' lots!) of pictures and all the lyrics!

rrruff drafts, vol. 1: max airborne, front

rrruff drafts, vol. 1: max airborne, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Humphrey And Mary Waye
2. X's And O's
3. Oh, Adrienne
4. Face It
5. A Memory Now
6. A Cappella Belle
7. Thick And Zany
8. Big Boys
9. Only A Movie (Or Is It?)
10. Simple Promises I'm Too Shy To Make
11. Phlegm Boy

"RRRUFF" Drafts, Vol. 1: Max Airborne,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

Tommy Wow may be barking up the wrong tree here, but the title RRRUFF Drafts gave him the doggone brainstorm to immortalize his doggie pets in the photo section of this package, so the 8-page booklet is chock-full of canine Kodak Moments, and ~of course~ the cd is chock-full of another interesting collection of Tommy Wow's inimitable songs!  'Nuff said (and yet, the talking continues ...).  Special notice must be taken of the poignant Phlegm Boy, the wistful 'aw-shucks'of Simple Promises I'm Too Shy To Make, the haunting Only A Movie (Or Is It?), the wacky Thick And Zany, and the narrative of Humphrey And Mary Waye in which only the names have been changed to protect the guilty... (and the guilty know who they are!!).  'FakeTone recordings' has once again put together a Triple-A, Double-Plus parcel.

rough drafts, vol. 2: 63 minutes of raw therapy, front

rough drafts, vol. 2: 63 minutes of raw therapy, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Knees
2. 2:34
3. Wild Weekend
4. It Took Guts
5. I'm A Couch Potato For You
6. Cloudburst
7. Stare Into The Sun
8. I'm Calling Your Name
9. Fractions
10. Life Is No Good Without You
11. Mammoth Wail
12. You Look Like You've Lost Your Best Friend
13. Three Guesses
14. We'll Still Be Friends
15. I'm Not Looking Forward To Christmas
16. Now Hear This!
17. Another Song About You

Rough Drafts, Vol. 2: 62 Minutes Of Raw Therapy,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

The ever-unpredictable Thomas Allen Kelley (he told us to say this ... who could've predicted THAT??) is back with the second of his 3-part Rough Drafts series, but this particular volume is no walk in the park, folks!  The cover has a warning on the back, that reads, in part:  "This cd is not for everyone . . . in fact, it may not be for ANYONE !" ... which just might be an understatement.  It's not for those wanting a quality recording:  the songs were made on a cheapo mono cassette machine in one take, some with rude splices.  It's not for those wanting sunny tunes about fuzzy puppies and walks on the beach at sunset:  the topic is d-i-v-o-r-c-e, specifically, TAK's d-i-v-o-r-c-e, and coping with the loss of a 14-year relationship.  It's certainly not for those wanting happy sing-alongs with lots of buoyant harmonies:  these are gut-wrenchingly direct songs with few frills, and one (Mammoth Wail) is downright frightening in its implications.  B u t . . .  now that we've gotten the gloom-n-doom out of the way, here's the good news - 15 of these 17 songs are classic-issue Thomas Allen Kelley.  The other 2 (the aforementioned Mammoth Wail, and I'm Not Looking Forward To Christmas) are TAK-esque but not built for repeated listenings.  The rest of the songs, however, are full of inventive musical avenues and unique view points on an old topic (divorce IS one of the oldest topics around, yes?).  Even though the lyrics are a personal record of TAK's journey back to breathing, these songs are not dirges, they are the same type of music as TAK's usual writings, with some of it being among his most compelling work - 2:34, in particular, paints a chillingly accurate portrait of the very moment when two soulmates walk away from each other.  Cloudburst, too, gets right to the heart of it, as does Stare Into The Sun and Three Guesses.  There are, to be sure, some lighter moments in the package:  I'm A Couch Potato For You was written with the Hat Of Skewed Humor firmly in place, and Life Is No Good Without You may cause a chuckle or two.

As always, copious thanks go to 'FakeTone recordings' (FTr) for their support, but more-so than usual this time, because "...Raw Therapy" is such an eclectic, even enigmatic offering, and FakeTone is ~way~ out there on the proverbial limb with this one!  They've provided an 8-page booklet with all the lyrics and some rather off-beat pictures of TAK.

So, for all the Thomas Allen Kelley aficionados (there must be at least fifteen or twenty of 'em!), this cd may be of historical interest; to you others just discovering the work of the ersatz Tommy Wow, who may think that listening to 62 Minutes Of Raw Therapy would feel like 62 Hours Of Misery (thanks for that ~very amusing~ comment, Jayebyrd!), we can quite assuredly say, "It doesn't."  (Notice the assurance in our voice ... ).  But, hey, if by some freaky karma, it turns out you can't stand the thing, all is not lost - you can always use it to prop up an uneven couch leg ... !

rough drafts, vol. 3: the other side of the coin, front

rough drafts, vol. 3: the other side of the coin, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Almond Eyes
2. It's A Secret
3. Telephone Tonight
4. Flowers
5. (Feels Like) Love Again
6. Go Easy On Me
7. Two Kids
8. Picnic Rock
9. Lucky Guy
10. The Patti Song
11. He'll Be Back
12. Ever On My Mind
13. Five-Star Day

Rough Drafts, Vol. 3: The Other Side Of The Coin,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION}  Here it is, you lucky peoples - the long-awaited 3rd and final installment of the Rough Drafts trilogy.  For those of you not on board for Vol 1 & Vol 2 (gasp ..!!.. we shudder at the thought!!!), a brief explanation of the Rough Drafts is in order:  the recordings in this series are "remembrance takes", i.e. quick, no-fuss/no-muss versions, done in 1989 in a rather lo-fi fashion, just so TAK could remember how the songs went.  But 15 years later, he decided to get all his music out into the world for posterity, and rather than start from scratch, he spruced up those original recordings with some guitars, harmonies and what-not, and the rest, as they say, is history.  That's correct, my friend, you're looking at history, right before your eyes ... Thomas Allen Kelley history!  What are you waitin' for ..?!.. get a hold of this cd and start learnin' the meaning of 'Money Well Spent'.  It's definitely worth the price of admission.    ( ... Gee, if we had a nickel every time somebody said ~that~ . . . ! )

christmas in cognito, front

christmas in cognito, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. The Reindeer Dance
2. Chimney Do Do
3. Everybody Loves Santa
4. Over The River
5. Sing It (Danny And Jackie)
6. We're Building A Snowman

Christmas In Cognito,  by Thomas Allen Kelley, who, as you know by now, is Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.                                                              

Brrrr.  Can't you just ~feel~ the snow in your face??  Here's good ol' holiday music from Tommy Wow, which requires a jolly spirit, a cracklin' fireplace, a steaming cup of hot chocolate, and, of course, a cd player to play these songs!!  Ho-ho-hope you enjoy following along with the included lyrics, and perhaps even merrily crooning a tune or two ! ! !

what planet am i on?!, back

what planet am i on?!, front (up1)

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Planet V
2. Rails To Romance
3. About Vivian
4. Then There Were Four
5. Fuzzy
6. 'Bout Time I Said It
7. All I Wanna Be
8. Viv Vian
9. Let's Talk About Us
10. About Vivian (The Untold Story!)
11. Life With The Wife
12. She Does

What Planet Am I On?!,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO YOUR OWN LITTLE CORNER OF THE GALAXY ! !

next stop: tommytown!, front

next stop: tommytown!, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Time For The Party
2. Opportunity Knocks
3. Me Lucky Charm
4. (Everybody) Take A Vacation
5. We Gotta Try (To Get It Together)
6. Cookie Shock Shark
7. Our Time To Say Goodbye
8. My Head Hurts
9. Ready? Set ... Go!
10. Love Of My Life
11. Choo Choo Train
12. You're Everything

Next Stop: Tommytown!,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A WHISTLE STOP NEAR YOU ! !  Folks, we will be certain to let you know when this "train" [cd] "steams into the station" [is ready], but right now, it's "high-balling down the main line" [it's in pre-production].  You can be sure that 'FakeTown recordings' will do its usual outstanding job with the packaging, and, in addition to the twelve great new songs, will include a plump booklet with pictures and all the lyrics!  Stay tuned!

i'm not a cowboy ... but i play one on cd, front

i'm not a cowboy ... but i play one on cd, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Babidooya
2. This Boy And This Girl (One Heart)
3. Haven't Got Time To Sit Around And Whine
4. I'll Never Smile Again
5. The Tune
6. Love Of Your Life
7. Into The Country
8. Too Much Rain
9. Jilted Jive
10. You're Gonna
11. Mr. Abe Lincoln
12. Don't Need Me Now (Doggie Died)

I'm Not A Cowboy ... But I Play One On CD,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A ONE-HORSE TOWN NEAR YOU ! !

eat a dumb grape before everything, front

eat a dumb grape before everything, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Tell My Friends I'm Doin' Fine
2. That Spark
3. From Monday
4. Lori
5. Middle Nameless
6. Cold Snow
7. Out Of Dreams
8. Make It Without You
9. Hefty Hunk O' My Heart
10. Not Necessarily In That Order
11. The Mysteriously Disappearing And Reappearing
(Then Disappearing Again!) Funky Progression

Eat A Dumb Grape Before Everything,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A JELLY JAR NEAR YOU ! !

tides and sand, front

tides and sand, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. These Magical Things
2. My Reason To Be
3. The Lightning Bug Ride
4. Standing At The Gates Of Heaven
5. Just Like Keepin' The Faith
6. Let Me Tell Ya
7. One Right Thing
8. True Love
9. Mr. Right (Here)
10. Dear Tamee
11. Who Needs You - Not Me (O.K., I Lied)
12. I'm In Love With Love
13. Love, Little Baby

Tides And Sand,  by Thomas Allen Kelley, who is, of course, Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

Another nice pack o' tunes from Tommy Wow.  Like the tides and the sand, Love seems eternal, and it's no coincedence that this cd takes its name from those elements, because for this outing, T.W. has written exclusively of Love, and the ups and downs (but mostly the ups!) of said Love.  All acoustic guitars, sax, and vocals by Tommy Wow.  'FakeTone recordings' has done it again, including an 8-page booklet with pictures and all the lyrics!

genius at trophy, front

genius at trophy, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello
2. Bump On My Head
3. Trixie (Is In The House)
4. You {x8} (You {x5})
5. Andrea McCann Can
6. Love Is Not A Lady
7. (I Think I'm) Falling For You
8. That's The Story, Morning Glory
9. Only Elton And Me
10. Ames. Abbe Ames.
11. Ode In The Key Of A, B, B, E
(A Legend In My Own Mind)
12. Never
13. World To Me
14. G'bye {x9}

Genius At Trophy,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A UNIVERSITY NEAR YOU ! !

all hits ... except for the misses, front

all hits ... except for the misses, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. A (Not-So-Hidden) Message To My Fans
2. I'm So Happy, I Could Shit
3. Dancin' Fever
4. J Is For Jen-e-fer
5. Moments With You
6. She's A Lu-Lu
7. Life On Earth
8. The Condor
9. A Very Strange Thing Indeed
10. Weepy
11. Get Serious
12. Kim In The Parking Lot
13. Demi Reminds Me Of Phebe

All Hits ... Except For The Misses,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A BALL PARK NEAR YOU ! !

mary christmas, front

mary christmas, back

~ FEATURING ~
  
1. Santa Looked A Lot Like Mommy
2. We Hear Ho Ho Ho
3. An Old-Fashioned Snowfall
4. In Praise Of Christmas
5. Santie Claus Is Back In Town
6. It Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Long
7. A Swingset And A Jungle Gym
8. Now It's Christmas ... Can't You Tell?
9. The Christmas That Almost Wasn't
10. Snow Day
11. Christmas
12. Nine Little Reindeer
13. If I Were Santa Claus
14. It's Christmas Eve And I'm Ready
15. Christmas Cheer!!
16. A Snowman Is No Man
17. Christmas Is Coming
18. (Just Make A Wish On) The Wish Tree
19. It's Almost Christmas Time
20. Tommy's Wish
21. Maul Santa, The Mall Santa
22. Shovelin' One For The Momsie

MARY Christmas,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION}  "My mother was a NUT."

Thus says Thomas Allen Kelley in the opening sentence of the booklet to this cd.  He elaborates:

"Plumb crazee.  Certifiably looney.  A regular Jerry Lewis.  A nut."

Gee-golly-whiz, it's =sooo= obvious he loved her ~very much~, isn't it ..!.. (... we write, pretend-sarcastically).

Actually, it is obvious he loved her very much, right from the first song, which is a gender-reversal of the Buck Owens classic Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy, called ~Santa Looked A Lot Like Mommy~.  TAK's mother loved to play Santa, complete with the Santa garb, so he just knew he wanted to start this collection with his tongue firmly - and affectionately - planted in cheek.

It's also glaringly obvious that TAK is a chip off his mother's cRaY-zEe block, by penning off-beat songs such as ~A Snowman Is No Man~, ~Maul Santa, The Mall Santa~, ~It Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Long~, and ~Christmas Cheer!!~ (which is not really so much a song as it is a good old football cheer!).  For warm, Christmassy, fireside feelings, there's ~An Old-Fashioned Snowfall~, ~In Praise Of Christmas~, ~Christmas~, and the slightly poignant ~Tommy's Wish~, written from a 9-year old's point of view.  There's also a direct tribute to his ma, called ~Shovelin' One For The Momsie~, which incidentally closes the disc, thus sandwiching these songs with an opening and closing pean to The Mommo - a nice unifying touch to this production.

So as usual, there is nothing but good things to say about TAK's latest concoction ... [but we're ad writers who work for TAK, so of course we're not gonna say anything negative, lest we get fired!!??!?!!?  Ho ho ho, indeed!!].  As with all his seasonal releases (and all Wow Brother releases), he's on the parent label, Trackwork Recordings Unlimited, and - also as usual - Trackwork has produced a handsome package, complete with pics, and the lyrics for all 22 songs!  Wow ..!!.. 22 songs!  That's more than a double-disc's worth of tunes!!  That's one heapin' helpin' o' Christmas spirits, my friendlies!!

Merry Christmas to all ... and to all - a Good Listen!!

sneek peeks, glimpse 1, front

sneek peeks, glimpse 1, back

~ FEATURING ~
  
1. Almond Eyes
2. It's A Secret
3. Telephone Tonight
4. Flowers
5. (Feels Like) Love Again
6. Go Easy On Me
7. Two Kids
8. She's A Lu-Lu!
9. Andrea McCann Can
10. Locomotive Breath
11. Get Me To The Bloodbank, I'll Make A Donation
12. Umbrella Man
13. Sweetness By The Hour
14. The Ballad Of Sandy's Cinnamon Roll
15. Santa Looked A Lot Like Mommy
16. We Hear Ho Ho Ho
17. An Old-Fashioned Snowfall
18. In Praise Of Christmas
19. Santie Claus Is Back In Town
20. It Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Won't Be Long
21. A Swingset And A Jungle Gym
22. Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer

SNEEK PEEKS, Glimpse 1,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

Being the brilliantly creative genius that he is, Thomas Allen Kelley has many irons in the air ... (! duck !) ... er, we mean, he has many balls in the fire ... (! ouch !) ... well, sumpin' like that.  Point is - he is juggling many simultaneous projects that are in various stages of completion.  Rather than let the finished parts of each project lie dormant until a given project is done, TAK decided to set them loose on his eager Public (=you!=), thereby allowing a glimpse into the future when official release dates are set by his record company, 'FakeTone recordings' (FTr).

FTr has collected most of TAK's works-in-progress and issued them as a set entitled "SNEEK PEEKS, Glimpse 1".  If this 'advanced-release' idea goes over like snowcones in August, FTr could release more Peeks down the line as TAK completes more stuff, so in order to differentiate between multiple Glimpses, the series begins with Glimpse 1, and if needed, will be followed by Glimpse 2, Glimpse 3, Glimpse 4, etc ... (uh, can ~you~ say Elementary Math??).  But for now, you only need concern yourself with Glimpse 1.

What Glimpse 1 amounts to is an update - a diary, if you will (and we just ~know~ you will!) - to keep his ardent fans (again: =you=!) happily abreast of the doings in TAK Land.  It's merely a temporary stratagem, because as the songs in this compilation get officially released within their various projects, this package will gradually become irrelevant and be discontinued, with some of the artwork possibly showing up in other packages.  And you'll be able to say you heard 'em all first ... right here in SNEEK PEEKS, Glimpse 1 !

So Happy Birthday, Joyous Noelle, Congratulations On Your Promotion, Keepin' Up With The Joneses, Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite, Goin' Down For The Third Time, A Bird In The Bush Is Worth Two In The Hand, or whatever hackneyed cliche is appropriate for the release of such a splendid anthology!!

pinecone, front

pinecone, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Meet Cute (Of The First Degree)
2. Riled About Riley
3. Right Place, Right Time
4. One Rose, Coming Through
5. Color Me Smitten!
6. Empty Arms (Cowboy Joe's Threnody)
7. We Found Our Way To We
8. Heard
9. Butterfly Train
10. I Will If You Will
11. You're Easy
12. Love A Little Better
13. Tell Your Lover You Love 'Er
14. Pure Joy
15. Playing My Guitar (A Song For Grace)
16. All The Driving I Do
17. I'm With You
18. Sailor's Heart

Pinecone,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{PROJECT TERMINATED}   

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. She Just Stopped (She Just Stopped)
2. Heart-Is-Broke Condition
3. Azziwuzz
4. One Rose, Long Gone
5. Candlelit Nights (Filled With Lingering Kisses)
6. The Best-Laid Plans Of Mice And Men (Plan B)
7. Lost In Gettysburg
8. Somebody Tell Me This Is Just A Bad Dream
9. These Days
10. That Sound You Don't Hear Is My Heart Not Beating
11. Pining On Spruce
12. She Rocked My World
13. CCR (Copiously Crushed, Righteously)
14. Chickens, Roosters, Geese, Llamas, Fish, Cats, & Birds
15. Goodbye, Heartsweet
16. Saying Grace

Pinecone Interruptus,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

Finally released to an eager public (the lines for all three CD Signing Partys stretched around the block!), this cd is chock-full of heartache, which always makes for some soulful music; but with this set, TAK has even outdone ~himself~, which is no slim feat ..!.. and though he has no slim feet, he has walked beyond the beaten path and produced an agglomeration of songs that will have you alternately crying in your tea, kicking out the jams, sighing sweetly with empathy, giggling unselfconsciously, and just generally wondering how in tarnation he manages to be so danged engaging and interesting!!

Perspicacity, people ... perspicacity.

After you absorb -

- the avant-garde punkiness of She Just Stopped     //     the wrenching honesty of Heart-Is-Broke Condition     //     the front-porch shuffle of Azziwuzz     //     the plaintive straightforwardness of One Rose, Long Gone     //     the sweet tenderness of Candlelit Nights     //     the wry drollness of Plan B     //     the unrequited numbness of Lost In Gettysburg     //     the upside-down funk of Somebody Tell Me     //     the country bop of These Days     //     the latin sultriness (and slight comic relief) of That Sound You Don't Hear     //     the winking cheekiness of Pining On Spruce     //     the balls-to-the-wall surge of She Rocked My World     //     the ticklish mock-seriousness of Copiously Crushed     //     the instrumental frolic of Chickens, Roosters, Geese     //     the poignant farewell of Goodbye, Heartsweet     //     and the sincere final thought of Saying Grace . . .

. . . you'll feel like you just gotta meet this intriguingly captivating artiste, yet at the same time, it'll seem like you've known him for years!!  either way, if you're a woman you're in luck, because TAK ~does~ enjoy dining with the female persuasion ... as long as she pays !!!!!!!  (hey, the man's financial advisor is a strict disciplinarian, ya know?).  But whether or not you dine with TAK (reservations for east PA & northwest NJ:  tasotak@hotmail.com, yeah baby!), you will certainly take Pinecone Interruptus straight into your heart, and revisit its touching emotional landscape often.

Of course, a Thomas Allen Kelley disc review would not be complete without praise for "FakeTone recordings" and their well-deserved reputation of producing the finest of wares. They up the ante with every new release, and Pinecone Interruptus is yet another step closer to heaven (<==TAK came up with that compliment ... nice!!).

the return of abstract mickey, front

the return of abstract mickey, back

~ FEATURING ~
   
1. Tick Path
2. Backgammon Board
3. If I Thanked God
4. What You Don't Know
5. The One Person
6. Toulouse-Lautrec
7. Bite To Eat (Confusion Reigns)
8. Heart Sing
9. Because You Loved Me
10. Me-Oh-My
11. I Wanted You To Know
12. Dreams Do What They Want
13. For Rebecca's On My Mind
14. I Can't Stop Thinkin' About You
15. Happy Birthday! Happy Spring!

the return of Abstract Mickey,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A BIG OL' BONFIRE NEAR YOU ! !

the hawaiian in me in hawaii, front

the hawaiian in me in hawaii, back

~ FEATURING ~
   
1. Aloha Beach
2. Ankle-Deep In The Blue Pacific
3. Move Over, Rover
4. Clear Sky, Gentle Surf
5. Hang 10 At 11
6. I Saw Elvis On The Island
7. (Don't) HELP! (Having The Time Of My Life)
8. Luau Louie
9. Hawaiian Highways
10. Two Little Fishies (Love On The Way)
11. Lounging Away
12. The Pineapple Two
13. Beautiful Place
14. Dog
15. Hawaiian Funk Attack
16. Surfgirls In The Ocean
17. A Hui Hou, Hawaii

The Hawaiian In Me In Hawaii,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A LUAU NEAR YOU ! !

kelleywatt hours, front

kelleywatt hours, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Tonedeaf
2. (Your Lawyer Says) What's Yours Is Yours,
And What's Mine Is Yours
3. Rox In My Head
4. Holding Me
5. I Love Being Up Here
6. Goin' Down Fightin'
7. I'll Find You
8. Waiting Room
9. Too Many Questions
10. Out There Every Day
11. New Year
12. Happy New Year

KELLEYWATT HOURS,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO AN ELECTRICAL OUTLET NEAR YOU ! !

local boy makes good ... music!, front

local boy makes good ... music!, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Happy Birthday To Me
2. If You Don't Have Love
3. Monica With A C
4. Love Is Always In The Air
5. Revival
6. Walk
7. Obviously, It Ain't Up To Me
8. Tire In The River
9. Sting Me Like The Bees
10. Easy Goin'
11. I Like It Wet

LOCAL BOY MAKES GOOD ... MUSIC!,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE NEAR YOU ! !

aztak, front

aztak, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Sing A Song Of Happy
2. The 'Lynda, It's Your Birthday' Song
3. She May Be Late But She'll Be Here
4. All For Naught
5. Ordinary Turns Extraordinary
6. She Loves Me Like A Baby
7. If I Was A Woman
8. So Much
9. The Dilemma
10. Summer's Comin'
11. She Did
12. More Fun To Be Happy

AZTAK,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO AN AUTOMOBILE DEALERSHIP NEAR YOU ! !

the adventures of thomas & norton, front

the adventures of thomas & norton, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. He's The Bee's Knees
2. True Blue (That's You)
3. Norton
4. Doggie Bag (Shoe Shoebottom)
5. No-Fault Dog
6. Pills, Pills, Hundreds Of Pills
7. Livin' On Another Dog's Dollar
8. What Am I Gonna Do Without You?
9. He's Norton
10. Wagtail
11. In The Car
12. My Little CGC

THE ADVENTURES OF THOMAS & NORTON,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A BORDER COLLIE NEAR YOU ! !

done, front

done, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Keep Getting Up
2. Losin' Shoe Blues
3. Ridin' Down The Road
4. On A Fine Day Like Today
5. My Studio
6. That Card
7. Ooooo, Yeeaah!
8. He's A Chronic Catatonic
9. All Roads Lead To You-Know-Who
10. Swan Song

done,  by Thomas Allen Kelley ... aka Tommy Wow of The Wow Brothers.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A GRAND FINALE NEAR YOU ! !

 
 
   ~  C O L L A B O R A T I O N S  ~
 
 

reconvened, front

reconvened, back

~ FEATURING ~
 
1. Mrs. Right
2. Blonde
3. Edsen Briar
4. Thirst For Love
5. A Cappella's Swell
6. 'Round The Square
7. Pinch
8. Makin' It Up As We Go
9. Get Me To The Bloodbank, I'll Make A Donation
10. All In All
11. Orsen Street
12. How Are You Fixed For Love?
13. You Belong To Me
14. Au Revoir

Reconvened,  by Janine Jaye  &  Thomas Allen Kelley ... former partners in Goldilocks.

{FUTURE PRODUCTION}  . . . COMING SOON TO A REUNION TOUR NEAR YOU ! !

 
 
   ~  P R E V I O U S   B A N D S  ~
 
 

goldilocks legacy, front

goldilocks legacy, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Roller Rink
2. So What?
3. Crazy Love
4. Midnight Rendezvous [The 78's]
5. Goodnight To Miami
6. Queen Of The One-Night Stand
7. Disco Stooges
8. Another No-Good
9. A Valentine's Heart
10. Infatuation
11. Jellybean
12. Jump On The Sun
13. Adieu
UNEARTHED GOLDilocks!
14. Ever So Gently [all]
15. Ever So Gently [janine]
16. The Nazareth Fire Whistle Song
17. Ordinary People
18. Jack Webb Rock & Roll

Legacy,  by Goldilocks, a band which Tommy Wow, currently of The Wow Brothers, helped found in 1978, and rocked as the drummer till their demise at the end of 1981.

Conrad Bartholomew: guitar & vocals.  Bill Bundy: keyboards, sax & vocals.  Janine Jaye: vocals & guitar.  Thomas Allen Kelley: drums & vocals.  Doc Nagle: bass & vocals.  This was Goldilocks, a dynamic group with powerful louds (as evidenced by Jack Webb Rock & Roll) and delicate softs (as evidenced by Janine's acoustic version of Ever So Gently).  It's rather difficult to categorize them because they touched on so many styles ... there are whiffs of Kansas/Yes (witness So What? and Another No-Good), flashes of Frank Zappa/Devo (partake of the ever-changing time signature in Crazy Love), and just plain lunacy (drop an ear on The 78's version of Midnight Rendezvous, originally by the Babys).  They wrote funk (Disco Stooges, and again, Another No-Good), top 40/rock (Queen Of The One-Night Stand and Infatuation), love ballads (A Valentine's Heart) and power pop (imagine what Ordinary People could've been had they worked it up to play out!).  You got your money's worth when you went to a Goldilocks show, especially with the two fine support crews they worked with during their existence: Tight-Wright Productions (Kevin "Tight White" Huff: lights; Barrie Wright: sound) and later, The Urban Renewal Sound & Light Company (Kevin "White Meat" Huff: lights; Bobby Mann: sound; Glenn Marrison: follow spot & dry ice).

Goldilocks existed in two incarnations, commonly referred to as Goldilocks 1 or G1, and Goldilocks 2 or G2.  G1 started with the five musicians mentioned above; a year and a half later, when Janine departed for Hollywood, the boys elected to keep going as a foursome and keep the name Goldilocks, and thus, the G2 era commenced.  This cd contains every original composition from both versions of Goldilocks, including ones they did at every show, and ones that never quite saw the light of day for one reason or another.  'FakeTone recordings' did a marvelous job of putting together a comprehensive package which includes all of Goldilocks' music, and an 8-page booklet containing the lyrics, many pictures, and lots of interesting liner notes.  A Must-Have!!

goldilocks rockin' the rooster, front

goldilocks rockin' the rooster, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Renegade - Styx
2. Big Eyes - Cheap Trick
3. Hot Blooded - Foreigner
4. Good Day, Sunshine - The Beatles
5. Tie Your Mother Down - Queen
6. Just What I Needed - The Cars
7. Bye Bye Love - The Cars
8. What's On My Mind - Kansas
9. True Life Hero - Klaatu
10. Ice Cream Man - Van Halen
11. Tumblin' Dice - Linda Ronstadt
12. Hot Child In The City - Nick Gilder
13. Heartless - Heart
14. Love In Action - Todd Rundgren
15. Tit Photographer Blues - The Poodles
16. On Top Of The World - Cheap Trick

Rockin' The Rooster!,  by Goldilocks, the band in which Tommy Wow, currently of The Wow Brothers, rocked as drummer from 1978 through 1981.
Goldilocks Live At The Red Rooster, Warren Glen NJ, 4-28-79

Let's let an excerpt from the write-up in the Rockin' The Rooster booklet speak for this cd:

"This music was recorded on a crystal-clear evening in 1979 ... the crowd was exceptional, and the band had some hot moments, too!  A hefty helpin' of appreciation to all those who were there that April night (and other nights, too), cheering us on.  Your loyalty and steadfast support - and of course, your admission fee - is what kept us going.  We couldn't have done it without you! (technically, we could have, but it wouldn't have been near as much fun ...)."

'FakeTone recordings', our recording company, has once again set a high bar, with a package that includes 32 photographs (that's THIRTY-TWO PHOTOS!!!) and a host of other interesting and amusing information.  In the booklet, we thank FTr by saying - "Once again, we acknowledge our high regard and gratitude towards 'FakeTone recordings' for continuing to connect us to our public.  Their integrity is iron-clad:  every promise they have made to us, they've kept (well, except for one - Pete, you still owe us each a cup of coffee, and we intend to collect ! !)."

goldilocks lit at the light, front

goldilocks lit at the light, back

~ FEATURING ~

1. Clock Strikes Ten - Cheap Trick
2. Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
3. Don't Leave Me Lonely - Angel
4. Sunday Papers - Joe Jackson
5. Dreaming - Blondie
6. Secret Agent Man - Devo
7. Kid Blue - Louise Goffin
8. Dancin' Fool - Frank Zappa
9. Borrowed Time - Styx
10. Shakedown Cruise - Jay Ferguson
11. You're Gonna Get What's Coming - Robert Palmer
12. The Dream Police - Cheap Trick
13. Danny's All-Star Joint - Rickie Lee Jones
14. Jimmy And The Tough Kids - Louise Goffin
15. Kinda Cute - Joe Jackson
16. One Way Or Another - Blondie
17. Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar
18. Queen Of The One-Night Stand - Goldilocks
19. Slow Down For Louieville - Goldilocks

Lit At The Light!,  by Goldilocks, the band in which Tommy Wow, currently of The Wow Brothers, rocked as drummer from 1978 through 1981.
Goldilocks Live At The Lighthouse, Bethlehem PA, 11-30-79

Like we did with Rockin' The Rooster above, we'll take the words straight from the horse's mouth - here's a bit of dialog from the booklet in this cd:

"One more time ..!.. Goldilocks 1 - COMIN' AT CHA ! !  More found treasures from the G1 camp!  Discovered in an abandoned warehouse under a stack of yellowed 1980 Sears Catalogs, these tunes will have you hoppin' outta your seat in a frug-ing/watusi-ing frenzy, and wishing with all your might that it was 1979 and you were right there with us on that chilly November 30, sitting front row center in that smokey bastion of rock an' roll revelry!! (not that The Lighthouse was any smokier than any of the other rock an' roll bastions Goldilocks played, but the phrase 'smokey bastion' sure did make for an interesting sentence, eh!)."

There follows more witty banter, but we'll leave that for you to discover as you're gazing through the 32 photographs included in the package ... yep, that's right = ~32 PHOTOGRAPHS~ ..!!!.. which just shows to go ya that "FakeTone recordings' has done their usual bang-up job in the Presentation Department ... and we praise them in the booklet with 743,829 thanks!

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